Letting Life Tear You Apart

Nov 18, 2021

{Written by Jason}

"Opportunities to find deeper powers within ourselves come when life seems most challenging. Negativism to the pain and ferocity of life is negativism to life. We are not there until we can say 'yea' to it all." – Joseph Campbell

When life's challenges and obstacles seem overwhelming, it's natural to want to quit, hide, and give up. But what if the solution lies in surrendering to the ferocity of life, rather than resisting it?

As human beings, we are neurologically wired for a fight or flight response when faced with a dangerous situation in life. So, the desire to push back or run from a serious challenge is literally hardwired into our biological systems.

But, rather than default to the unconscious, reactionary behavior based on our genetic biases and neurological predispositions, what if we actually practiced making a conscious choice in the midst of difficult situations?

Years ago, I heard two diametrically opposed acronyms for the word FEAR:

Fuck Everything And Run

- or -

Face Everything And Rise

It's totally natural to want to say "fuck this!" and shrink when faced with seemingly insurmountable difficulties. Perhaps, though, the real medicine is completely surrendering to the reality of the situation, as terrifying as it may be. What if the way to rise up and face the terrible truth of the present moment is to simply allow it to tear us apart and fully surrender to it?

Over the ages, many religions and spiritual traditions have regaled the stories of avatars, sages, Sufis, fakirs, and saviors risking (or sacrificing) their identities or even their lives in service of some higher good. Whether it was Jesus Christ fully surrendering to his crucifixion for the salvation of mankind or the Buddha eschewing his nobility and riches to seek enlightenment, humanity has been transfixed on the journeys of sacrifice, surrender, and the transmutation of suffering in pursuit of a higher aim.

This is not to say we are ascended masters or avatars. However, recognizing that an essential part of life is change (and that change is often painful, confusing, and messy) allows us to perhaps prepare and practice the surrender that may lead to some semblance of acceptance and grace in our lives.

"What is... is good and to our advantage whether or not we can see it or feel it in the moment." This is a piece of wisdom that was passed down to me by my mentor, Michael, many years ago. It's difficult to believe this when we're in the midst of chaos and change. It's hard to feel like life is taking care of us when it's handing us more than we think we can handle. But when you look back on your life and review all of the situations where you thought, "I don't know if I can survive this!", you realize that you DID survive. You made it through somehow.

Albert Einstein once said, “The most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile universe.” Even when life seems unfair, horrifying, revoltingly painful, or challenging – perhaps it's preparing us for something greater. Perhaps those moments are giving us an opportunity to ask for support, to surrender to what is, and to discover even greater powers locked deep within us.

Maybe the moments you feel like life is tearing you apart are the times that life is removing all the aspects of yourself that aren't real. Maybe in the ashes of what remains... you find out what really matters. Pain, loss, and letting go have a way of making us fully present to what's important, to what's real, to what lasts.

"Only that which cannot be lost in a shipwreck is yours." - Abu Hamid al-Ghazali

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